A Great Disapointment
by a song for jeffrey
Summary: What do you do when the world turnes its back on you?Lying in the luminous shadows of the people you once called your friends. The radiant darkness that now surrounds your feeble little mind. What do you do when the world turns its back on you?no pairings
1. chapter 1

The Great Disappointment

Ryou's POV

He yelled at me. 

Joey yelled at me. 

Told me what I feared for so long now. He confessed what Yugi could not. 

He told me the truth, that they really did not want me around. What Yugi had told him only three weeks earlier. 

He didn't even go into great detail about it. Just a simple

"We don't fucking want you around anymore Ryou."

And then he walked off.

Happily.

I knew there was something wrong. I knew that I was the cause of awkwardness whenever they tried to have a conversation. I must be boring. 

Or ugly or embarrassing or something.

And this time it is not ok. 

I am not ok. Have I ever been?

I wish I had never been born into this wretched world of back-stabbing selfish beings who want nothing more than to live with as many material items as possible. 

That just doesn't seem like it is a correct way to live. 

Im just defective. Everyone else seems to be able to get by just fine, with many friends and much happiness. 

Maybe im just spoiled. I dont notice all the good that I have because I am too focused on what is desired. 

I am sitting in my room, darkness covering everything.

Crying.

There truly is no one here to save me. 

Im a disappointment. 

I am useless.

I am useless I am useless. 

It is only in dreams that I can be truly happy...

I can remember a place I used to go,

Chrysanthemums of white, they seemed so beautiful.

I can remember

I searched for the amaranth.

I'll just shut my eyes to see.

Oh how I smiled then, so near to the cherished ones.

I knew they would appear...saw not a single one.

oh how I smiled then, waiting so patiently

I'd make a wish and bleed.

While I waited, I was wasting away.

I can remember...dreamt then so vividly

soft creatures draped in white, light kissed gracing me.

I can remember when I first realized dreams were the only place to see them.

While I waited, I was wasting away.

Hope was wasting away.

Faith was Wasting away.

I was wasting away. 

I never wanted this.

I always wanted to believe but from the start ive been deceived.

I never, never wanted this.

Inside a crumbling effigy, so dies all innocence.

But you promised me... 


	2. chapter 2

**a/n lol ok.. the last chapter wouldnt let me preview it! so.. im sorry for all spelling errors lol.. and the song in that one was 'the great Disapointment" by AFI.. and the song in this one is "the leaving song" also by AFI! lol sooooo... yes! please review! and you all get cookies!**

**The Great Disappointment **

**Ryou's POV**

**Chapter 2**

I can remember when I was young.

People always teasing me about my soft-spoken nature.

They never understood why I was that quiet.

I remember the parents of former friends.

They tried to keep their rumors quiet.

I heard how they questioned my family.

How they questioned my thoughts.

They couldn't get inside me head.

Inside my heart.

After a while, my friends weren't allowed to play with me any more.

Or thats what they said.

I saw the look in their eyes.

It said "I no longer WANT to play with you"

I wished they would have just told me so.

And now, I am alone once again.

I am always left behind. People are so cruel.

The least they could do is leave me alone once they dump me off in the street after brutally destroying my heart.

leaving me to mend myself once again. Alone.

Always alone.

Crying out for help, but there is no one to embrace my shaking body with a lasting warmth.

Instead I am left kneeling on my bathroom floor, hand reaching out to find a temporary comfort, which is never there.

After a while, the darkness swallows me, and gives me the strength I need to get through school.

Always cheerful, always acting.

and then I arrive home for another crying event.

What kills me most is when Tristan tells me "Poison Hearts will never change. Walk away again."

Its been said to me before.

Funny how different people can say such similar things when they are known at different times in your life.

I walk facing the ground.

I dont see the sky, I dont see the trees; the autumn leaves that fall.

Give up on me.

Give up on me. Im more dead than alive.

Nightmares haunt me every time I close my eyes.

Its never over.

_Walked away heard them say_

_"Poison Hearts will never change. Walk away again."_

_Turned away in disgrace,_

_Felt the chill upon my face cooling from within._

_Its hard to notice gleaming from the sky_

_when your stairing at the cracks._

_Its hard to notice what is passing by with eyes lowered._

_You walk away, heard them say "Poison hearts will never change. Walk away again."_

_All the cracks will lead right to me_

_All the cracks will crawl right through me, and I fell apart._

_As I walked away, heard them say_

_"poison hearts will never change"_

_walk away again_

_Turned away in disgrace,_

_felt the chill upon my face, cooling from within._


	3. chapter 3

**A great Disappointment**

**Chapter 3**

**Ryou's POV**

Drunk.

He came home drunk again.

He who they think supports me. He who should.

My poor father. Am I that much of a burden on your heart that you must constantly drink away your sorrows?

I should leave.

I should leave and let you live.

It is me who has caused all of your pain.

I didn't mean to kill her.

I didn't know that if I didn't go straight home after school she would die.

Instead, I stopped at the playground.

I was selfish.

I chose to play as she was at home fixing that cloth around her neck. .

I chose to play as she stood high up on her bed's end, ready to step off.

I chose to play as dad turned the house key, and opened the door, set to relax after a ling day at work.

There would be no relaxing for him. Never again.

And so, I am sorry.

………. ……. ….. … . … … .. .. ….

As I stand here in my room, I debate whether or no to do it.

I chose the knife from the kitchen.

The small, insignificant one. That which you would, normally, only choose when there was no other option.

That must be why it's so sharp today.

And I've decided.

I have no worth here any longer.

No one to save me, for I am alone.

The great disappointment.

This is, after all, why I skipped class today. To be home. To do this.

No one noticed.

… .. .. .. … … … … … .. … … … …

I feel the cold steel press against my wrist.

I feel how the blade seems to sting when I run it across my pale skin.

I feel how I am lightheaded from this strange sensation. It's nice. An emotional relief.

And as I feel the droplets running smoothly down my hand, I head my bedroom door open.

Turning my head lazily towards the sound, I hear you suck in your breath.

I had forgotten about you. How incredibly selfish of me.

You sacrificed your shirt to stop my blood.

You picked me up; wrapped your (surprisingly) strong arms around me, and carried me off to the outside.

The light makes me dizzy, so I move my head closer to your chest.

You smell familiar, and for a moment I feel as if I'm not dying.

(a/n: ok i wansn't going to write anymore of this story.. but then i ended up writing this chapter. i hope you enjoy it, and there will be at least one more chapter to this. please review. thank you soo much to all who have reviewed this so far, you really made my day.)


	4. final chapter

**The Great Disappointment**

Final Chapter

Ryou's PoV

As the last of my life begins to fade rapidly into the nothingness, you hold me. I never asked you to walk all the way here. I would have never asked you to run with me in your arms. But you did.

I draw a temporary strength from your warmth, but soon my face grows pale and my limbs begin to feel heavy. The unsteady beeping of a heart monitor keeps my mind from shutting down; as does your hand, carefully placed on my chest to feel my heart beating.

Your scent fills my senses. Exotically flavored; you remind me of my sister's last Christmas gift to my mother. Musk flavored perfume.

It is a comfort. You are my comfort. Ever since you moved to this town, I felt safer. Safe from my father and his lies; safe from the other boys at school who constantly harassed and ridiculed me; safe from myself. And you left your home for me. You said you came for me.

But like always, I was too selfish and forgot you.

That is no excuse; I'll make it up to you somehow: I won't make you worry anymore; I'll end this.

I faintly feel your tears as the fall onto my stiffening body. The sound fades and all strength that would have been used to look up into your eyes one last time disappeared. The air is heavy as doctors and their assistants rush around shouting in frantic whispers.

Your hand clenches and pulls at the fabric of my shirt. The beating in my chest can no longer be felt. You stifle a sob and push on my chest more aggressively before a nurse pulls you away and out of the room. You fight, but that just leads to a more disciplinary action of making you go to the waiting room.

With you no longer with me I have no strength. The one I loved is gone; the only one who showed me compassion. Give up on me. I'm more dead than alive. I'm a disappointment. I am useless.

Alone.

I die alone.

-end-

like it? hate it? tell me. i guess that's one way to end a sad story...


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